Pickin' Up Strays
by paynesgrey
Summary: Much to Bill's dismay, Jessica becomes taken with a certain friend of Sookie's, who's stranded on the side of the road. Jessica/Hoyt. Bill/Sookie implied. Oneshot. Season 1 spoilers and some book knowledge.


Pickin' Up Strays

As he gripped the steering wheel enough to break it, Bill tried not to think about how irritated he was.

"Why are we driving, dork; why don't we just _fly_ there?" Jessica snorted from the backseat. He had _made _her sit in the back, just as he had _made_ her get in the car with him. Only with the promise of fresh human blood did she obey his demands. He also threatened to stake her despite the consequences, and though she rolled her eyes at him, she knew he wasn't joking.

The more days he had to deal with her, the more he didn't care about the Tribunal, or his low status on the vampire totem pole. He wanted to fight fang and nail to be with Sookie, and Jessica had become the dead weight of all dead weights. Not only that, she was extremely intolerable. He never thought about what it was like to have an irritating, irrational daughter, and now he was experiencing such an event on full blast.

Jessica wasn't about to mainstream like he was either. She had received enough fresh human blood at Eric's, and Bill silently cursed the old vampire for giving into her. Of course, Eric wasn't a mainstreamer by any means himself.

So she refused to drink the Tru Blood, and the only option, other than biting someone unwilling, was to take her to New Orleans and set her up at the Queen's hotel and get her some willing humans. It was all he could think of to get her to shut up and behave. Mostly, he just wanted her to get out of his sight so he could go back to Sookie.

"Bill!" she whined. He sighed automatically. "Why are we driving? This is boring! I feel cramped and hungry, and it'd be faster if we could fly or run fast like Eric does."

Bill slammed on the gas, and he turned his head around to hiss at her. "Be quiet. You can't fly, despite what Eric made you think. I asked you to try and you couldn't. Don't you remember?"

Jessica pouted at him. Sure, they could probably run fast all the way to New Orleans, but a car was quicker. He'd speed all the way there and get to the city much faster. Jessica didn't seem to catch on to that. Or, she just needed something to whine about, and he really didn't want to 'run fast' with her anyway.

Suddenly, her eyes went wide and she gaped. "Bill!"

He was about to snap at her again, but she was pointing ahead with glee. He looked to the side where she indicated and saw a figure coming up as they sped. He squinted, and his enhanced vision took in whom the person was. Jessica tittered happily in the back seat.

"A snack! Ooh, no one ever cares about hitchhikers! Stop, Bill, stop!" she screamed.

"Jessica, quiet," he said in a growl, and he was about to drive on by and get ready for another bout of Jessica's loud and flailing disappointments. Then, he recognized the person waving his arms stupidly on the side of the road.

Come to think of it, as Bill remembered from him at Merlotte's, this boy was kind of slow.

When he stopped the car, Jessica clapped her hands gleefully in the back. He could hear her licking her lips and snapping her fangs out. She cooed like a child on Christmas morning.

Sookie's friend Hoyt leaned down and smiled at him goofily as Bill rolled down his window.

"Gosh," he said, "I didn't think anyone would come by this time of night. Why you're vampire Bill, aren't you. Sookie always talks about you," Hoyt said politely, and Bill expected nothing less. Hoyt noticed Jessica grinning like a cat in the backseat and politely he tipped his head, "Ma'am."

Before Hoyt could get the wrong idea and run back to Sookie later, Bill quickly explained. "Hoyt, this is my friend Jessica. I'm taking her back to New Orleans for… dinner."

Hoyt stared dumbly at Jessica who was making eyes at him. She was on the verge of glamouring him, but then Bill brought his attention back.

"What can we do to help, Hoyt?" Bill said in his most polite tone.

"Oh, shucks, I need a lift back to the mechanic shop back in town. I forgot my cell phone at my mom's, and my car is done dead; I think it's the battery." Hoyt glanced at Jessica again for a moment, and Bill watched Hoyt swallow hard. He felt his lips tense. This was not good.

"I really wish I could help. I can give you my cell phone…"

Hoyt shook his head. "His phone just got cut off, and I don't think I know his number." Hoyt gave Bill a desperate look, and Bill felt somewhat surprised. Didn't this kid know he was begging to get in a car with two hungry vampires? Didn't he know how dangerous this was? And of course, Bill couldn't do anything about it. It would upset Sookie to kill another one of her friends, and the way Jessica was eyeing the poor sap, she had no such reservations.

"It's just down the road. I promise it's not out of your way. The town is up that away. It's just a small town out of Bon Temps, not on the map I think." He gave a light chuckle and Bill was really starting to doubt the kid's intelligence. However, he didn't think Hoyt would let him decline, so he decided to get rid of him quickly.

Bill nodded. "Of course. I hope you don't mind if I drive fast." Bill shot a glance at Jessica, who caught his gaze and gave him a challenging glare before turning her seductive eyes back on Hoyt.

"Oh, no sir, the faster the better." Hoyt jumped in the backseat with Jessica before Bill could protest. The boy giggled excitedly at her, and she leaned into him to get close and personal.

Bill sighed. Unfortunately, Hoyt seemed to enjoy Jessica's attention.

"I gotta get back home soon or my Ma will worry," he said to Jessica as if Bill wasn't in the car with them at all. Jessica nodded slowly. She leaned her face close to his neck to get a whiff, and Bill cleared his throat. She pulled back a little and smiled at Hoyt, who was fidgeting next to her.

"We'll, be glad to help. Of course, wouldn't want to worry your Ma," she said playfully, and she started to snake a hand on his shoulder. "What a nice… shirt, Hoyt."

It wasn't nice at all. It was plain and kind of dirty, and Bill knew she was playing him. He rolled his eyes, and put the car in drive. He hoped in the next couple of minutes he could keep Jessica from eating Sookie's poor friend.

"Hey why don't you take it slow, Bill. I want to get to know Hoyt a little better here," she said, giving Bill a smarmy look. Hoyt burst into a fit of dopey chuckles as if on cue.

"Oh there isn't much to know about me, ma'am. I'm not very special. I'm just plain old Hoyt."

"Ah, but that just can't be true," she said, leaning closer and rubbing her breasts against his arm. She flicked a snippet of her red hair so it fell over his shoulder. He froze, his smile thick on his face but his lack of experience becoming more obvious as his body began to shiver.

"I'm afraid so, ma'am. I reckon you're a lot more interesting than I am," he said with a playful guffaw.

Bill was beginning to feel like a voyeur.

Jessica trailed her hand over Hoyt's chest, and the boy visibly swallowed hard.

"Ever kiss a girl before Hoyt?" she asked him.

"Jessica…" Bill warned, but she ignored him, leaning even closer. Hoyt continued to get sucked into her spell, and she wasn't even beginning to glamour him. Hoyt was taken with her all on his own.

"Aw, well, a couple times, but it wasn't that great. Just high school stuff," he said with a visible blush. The red on his cheeks seemed to please Jessica, and even Bill felt a small temptation. He kept his eyes forward on the road, and he was happy he saw lights to the nearby town Hoyt had described.

"So you've never really been kissed before," she said with a pout. "What a shame. I can give you a real kiss if you want."

"Oh, that's mighty nice of you, Ms. Jessica, but we've only just met," Hoyt said with a cheesy snicker.

"It's alright. I like you well enough. Don't you like me?" she asked, and by this time, she was practically in his lap as she looped one of her legs around his.

"Well, sure," he said with an awkward hesitation. Then, the silence became thick between them, and Jessica started to glamour him. Bill purposely swerved on the road, distracting her for a bit. He caught her annoyed glare in the rearview mirror, and he smiled to himself in satisfaction.

Suddenly, he was frowning, for Jessica had grabbed Hoyt by the shirt and had brought him down against her lips. He squealed slightly from surprise as her tongue invaded his mouth. Then, he settled against her, kissing her back and trying to match her ferocity. Finally, he let out a small whine, and Bill smelled blood. He slammed the car on the brakes, and in his rear view, he saw Jessica and Hoyt tumble apart.

"Wow," Hoyt said, with stars in his eyes. He looked utterly smitten while Jessica cleaned up the rest of his blood from the cut she'd made on his lip. He smiled at her goofily at her. "You are some kisser, Ms. Jessica."

She smiled at him with pride, and she leaned toward him to take some more.

Bill cleared his throat much louder this time. "We're here, Hoyt." Jessica glared at him before giving a pout to Hoyt.

"Hoyt, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I just couldn't help myself," she said apologetically, which was just as fake as her intention to kiss him because she 'liked' him. No, he was all food to her, and Bill knew it.

"Aw, that's okay, Ms. Jessica. I know you're a vampire. It didn't hurt me that much, so don't you go worrying about it," he said, and Bill honestly thought his mouth was going to drop into his lap. He looked back at the scene and couldn't believe that Hoyt was still all a flutter for Jessica's wiles.

And she didn't even have to glamour him!

"Well, I gotta go and find a phone around here to call my Ma. I hope I can see you again some time, Ms. Jessica," Hoyt said with a polite smile.

"I can't wait," Jessica said with another catlike smile. She leaned in and gave him a light kiss, licking up the remnants of the wound starting to heal on his lip. Bill turned around to speed up the goodbye with a glare to them both.

"Well, thank you again Mr. Compton. Sookie was right about you. You're a really nice vampire." Hoyt said, backing away and still grinning as he hovered around the car. "You too, Ms. Jessica."

"Good night, Hoyt," Bill said, eager to get back on the road, but not so eager to hear Jessica's whining again.

"Ma'am," Hoyt said, and reluctantly he walked backwards toward the mechanic's shop as the car started to finally leave. Jessica stared at him with her coy eyes until he was out of her sight.

"I think he likes me," she said with a snotty snicker.

"You need to leave him alone. He's one of Sookie's friends, and I don't want you… biting him and then killing him," Bill warned.

Jessica shot him a look. "Who said anything about killing him? I can bite someone without draining them." She rolled her eyes at him. "God, you don't know me at all! You are such an ass! Maybe I really want to see him, not if it's any of your business."

Bill let out a heavy sigh. It was pointless to argue with her, and when she said nothing else, he was thankful for the silence.

The silence, however, didn't last long.

Ten minutes after he sped down away from the town, his ears heard the unwelcome shrill of her demanding voice again.

"Bill!" she cried with one of her usual 'it's-the-end-of-the-world' moans.

"What?" he snapped at her, so much she sulked into the seat of the car with another childish pout.

"I'm still hungry," she said again.

He groaned and slumped back into the driver's seat, pushing harder on the gas. They just couldn't get to New Orleans fast enough.

END


End file.
